WANDAVISION: The Bereavement Bunch
Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale,
A tale of some TV tropes,
A supergirl in deep denial,
And how she (sort of) copes.
THE MANDALORIAN CHAPTER 13: The Tale Eats Its Tail
We’re enthralled by the Star Wars that’s there when we’re twelve.
It’s whatever comes later we’re likely to shelve.
So, grown-up as I was when Ahsoka appeared,
I was never to her all that greatly endeared,
And the news of her Mando live-action debut
Made me shrug at the cartwheels some fans chose to do.
THE MANDALORIAN (Chapters 9-10): This is the Way We Spin the Wheels
What this show has is creatures and speed,
On whose value all eras of fans have agreed.
And it may be that Star Wars discovers its heart
When it drops all pretensions to statements or art.
KNIVES OUT: And Then There Was Fun
Sprawling country manor packed with relatives and rancor,
Early explanation you can take right to the bank—or…?
Oddball sleuth, once thought a clown, who now the answer gives out:
Every classic Agatha convention Knives Out lives out.
HARRY POTTER AND THE GOBLET OF FIRE: TriWizard Turnabout
Now the Hogwarts Express has made four stops,
And the plotting keeps pulling out more stops.
It was here Potter Nation
Reached full maturation
And the books became three-inch-thick doorstops.
LOGAN: Clawing Toward Manhood
There’s no razor-sharp claw that can sever
A hard man from the life that he’s led,
Now the board’s almost clear, but, as ever,
Logan’s worst villains live in his head.
HARRY POTTER AND THE PRISONER OF AZKABAN: Defense Against the Dark/Artsy
Three films in, fighting stagnation’s specter,
Potter, Inc. charted out a new vector:
“No more Home Alone guy!
Let’s give edgy a try!”
Wands choose wizards, but trends choose directors.
HARRY POTTER AND THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS: Flush Me, J.K.
With novelty’s charm now diminished,
And yet plot points remaining quite kiddish,
It’s like episode 2
Of “Hogwarts: SVU”,
And it drags like a long game of Quidditch.
GREYHOUND: Saving Captain Hanks
A shy-hero picture with Hanks’ furrowed brow
Is just what the universe needs about now,
And as soon as he’s suited in smart captain’s gear,
You’re aware this is nowhere near history’s worst year.
But whatever the squalls in the world’s or my way,
I could watch Captain Hanks play the good guy all day.
HARRY POTTER AND THE SORCERER’S STONE: Spelling Lessons
When a lightning-scarred, mistreated orphan
Gets a note from a witch fond of morphin’,
He discovers his place
In the wizarding race
And is suitably flush with endorphins.
